Recently, I have received an email from a guy who told me that he likes this relationship advice blog and asked why I am writing about self confidence and not dedicating all my time and efforts talking and writing about relationship advice and psychology instead. After all, what is the importance of self confidence and is it that so important to the extent that I dedicate a certain a category in the blog for self confidence advice?!
Well, let’s see what relationship advice is all about first, then we will see what is the relationship between self confidence and relationship advice.
Relationship advice and the importance of self confidence
Relationship advice is divided into three main parts.:
1- Advice before the relationship: which talks about attraction, dating, and how to find and attract your soul mate.
2- Advice during the relationship: this is the kind of advice regarding improving communication between couples and eliminating conflicts.
3- Advice after the relationship: This is where breakup advice comes. It is either regarding getting your ex back or getting over her/him.
So what does this have to do with the importance of self confidence?
Importance of self confidence before the relationship
When you are single and watching couples loving each other everywhere you may feel bad. This is very obvious when Valentine’s day comes and you find yourself lonely. Now, if you are self confident, then you will not attach your self worth to being single or in a relationship. In other words you will not think that you are strange or not attractive enough to be in a relationship and will never think of things like that there is no one who can find you attractive enough to make a relationship with you. Things like these never happen to confident people.
Another thing is that when you find your dream girl and try to approach her, you have to be confident and never come as clingy, insecure or needy otherwise you will lose her forever. All the pickup lines will never work for you if you are not confident enough to walk and talk to the woman you like.
Also, in the case of one sided love, if you are not confident enough to take the risk and approach the woman you love, you will remain stuck in this situation forever.
As you can see, self-confidence is extremely important to simply get you into a relationship.
Importance of self-confidence during the relationship
During a relationship (understanding stage and the power struggle stage) things go up and down. There are many conflicts and arguments that will face every couple. Let’s consider Jealousy as an example.
Ask any Psychology expert about the reason of jealousy and they will tell you that the main reason behind jealousy is lack of self-confidence. In other words, if a man is self-confident and not insecure, he will not become jealous of his woman’s exes or other men in her life like her colleagues in work or whoever. This will actually dramatically decrease the number of endless arguments between couples.
Another obvious and common example is when your woman criticizes you about anything either it be big or small, then if you are insecure you will make a big deal of it, however, if you are confident and you are sure of who you are then you will treat her like your 4-year-old sister and consider it a normal mood swing that all women have
I think it is now very obvious that self-confidence is extremely important to avoid many conflicts and for a relationship to continue.
Importance of self-confidence after the end of the relationship.
If self-confidence is important before the relationship and during the relationship then it is very very very important ( cannot stress this anymore ) after the end of the relationship or in other words after the breakup.
In my article what to do after a breakup, I have said that the first thing to do is to work on improving your self-confidence and this is simply because the reason most people suffer after a breakup is not that missing your ex, but because of the rejection itself and so attaching your self worth to the fact that you have been dumped or rejected.
In most scenarios, working on your self-confidence and self-esteem will at least help ease the pain resulting from the breakup and in many cases, this alone can help you completely get over the breakup.
Even if you want to get your ex-girlfriend back, you will need to be very cool and confident especially if you are applying the no contact rule.